I started pinning this week. I'd like to be able to upload more of my photos, but I seem to have difficulties with that. hmm. Anyway, Pintrest seems interesting. It's strange how people discover you on these sites. I don't know about 90% of the people that repin things, but am glad they're enjoying my pins. :)
On another note, I haven't done anything with my books this week. I've been in so much pain from this stupid crown fiasco that I haven't been able to function. It's been an effort to not snap at everyone I encounter. Two more weeks until the permanent crown is set. Hopefully this one will be better and the pain will disappear.
I've been reading this week, as much as I can to distract myself. I'll post reviews on B&N, Amazon, and Goodreads probably Thursday. I want to finish the two books I'm reading now before I post. I also am working on another project for networking that I think you'll find interesting. As soon as I have it together, I'll let you know!
Anyway, I have to go attempt to paint the cover to Created now. I know what I want it to look like, but I'm really not sure if what's in my head will transpire on canvas. I'm excited to try though! :)
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Pain
I've realized this weekend that I don't handle tooth pain well at all. Not even a little bit.
Short and condensed pain killer induced Story:
Years ago I had a crown placed on a top molar. The dentist I went to said he should've done a root canal, but thought the crown would be okay. He should've done the root canal. I had a very dull pain for about 7 years from that tooth. I adapted and changed my eating habits. A few years ago my insurance changed and I switched Dentists. I absolutely love my new Dentist. He redid my crown, changed it to a root canal and then sent me to a specialist because I still had pain. The specialist told me I was "Special" I had a hidden nerve that doesn't typically show up on x-rays, but affects a small amount of people. He told me that in order to relieve the pain I was having, he'd have to go in, slice my gum open, sever the nerve ending and sew me back up. Seeing as how I typically want to gut someone when they stick a needle in my mouth, I wasn't having any of that.
My dentist ended up filing my tooth a bit so my bite was different. I was finally out of pain and SO HAPPY!!!
He then dropped a bombshell on me: I needed to replace an old, filled cavity with a crown. With my less than pleasant experience with the last crown, I basically told my Dentist where he could stick his drill. :) I wasn't having pain in that tooth so I didn't see any reason to replace the filling with a crown. He sent the pre authorization to my insurance, and God love my husband, he paid for it in advance. I now had no excuse not to get the stupid crown. I scheduled the appointment.
Thursday I went to the Dentist and he fitted me for my temporary crown and sent my tooth mould out so he could get the permanent crown made. He has a new Assistant. I hate new people. I like consistancy. I like to know what I'm going to get and what to expect, especially with the Dentist. New people make me nervous and I'm already agitated enough just going to the Dentist.
Something happened with the temporary crown and it fell off my tooth on Friday. I've felt like someone's been stabbing frozen ice picks through my entire jaw and right ear for three days. I've been nauseated, exhausted and hungry. It hurt to eat, drink and sleep. Basically my life has completely sucked for the past three days.
Today I went back and got the tooth re-cemented. The Assistant informed me that my gum under that tooth was extremely irritated and inflamed. She had the dentist give me some painkillers so I could finally get more than 3 hours of sleep. The best news is I can finally eat!!!! I'm so happy I could cry!
Bottom line: I don't deal with tooth pain well at all. I've been holed up in my bed, reading and trying not to cry since Friday afternoon. This has completely sucked.
The next time my Dentist mentions a crown I may end up showing him where to put his drill....
Short and condensed pain killer induced Story:
Years ago I had a crown placed on a top molar. The dentist I went to said he should've done a root canal, but thought the crown would be okay. He should've done the root canal. I had a very dull pain for about 7 years from that tooth. I adapted and changed my eating habits. A few years ago my insurance changed and I switched Dentists. I absolutely love my new Dentist. He redid my crown, changed it to a root canal and then sent me to a specialist because I still had pain. The specialist told me I was "Special" I had a hidden nerve that doesn't typically show up on x-rays, but affects a small amount of people. He told me that in order to relieve the pain I was having, he'd have to go in, slice my gum open, sever the nerve ending and sew me back up. Seeing as how I typically want to gut someone when they stick a needle in my mouth, I wasn't having any of that.
My dentist ended up filing my tooth a bit so my bite was different. I was finally out of pain and SO HAPPY!!!
He then dropped a bombshell on me: I needed to replace an old, filled cavity with a crown. With my less than pleasant experience with the last crown, I basically told my Dentist where he could stick his drill. :) I wasn't having pain in that tooth so I didn't see any reason to replace the filling with a crown. He sent the pre authorization to my insurance, and God love my husband, he paid for it in advance. I now had no excuse not to get the stupid crown. I scheduled the appointment.
Thursday I went to the Dentist and he fitted me for my temporary crown and sent my tooth mould out so he could get the permanent crown made. He has a new Assistant. I hate new people. I like consistancy. I like to know what I'm going to get and what to expect, especially with the Dentist. New people make me nervous and I'm already agitated enough just going to the Dentist.
Something happened with the temporary crown and it fell off my tooth on Friday. I've felt like someone's been stabbing frozen ice picks through my entire jaw and right ear for three days. I've been nauseated, exhausted and hungry. It hurt to eat, drink and sleep. Basically my life has completely sucked for the past three days.
Today I went back and got the tooth re-cemented. The Assistant informed me that my gum under that tooth was extremely irritated and inflamed. She had the dentist give me some painkillers so I could finally get more than 3 hours of sleep. The best news is I can finally eat!!!! I'm so happy I could cry!
Bottom line: I don't deal with tooth pain well at all. I've been holed up in my bed, reading and trying not to cry since Friday afternoon. This has completely sucked.
The next time my Dentist mentions a crown I may end up showing him where to put his drill....
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Writer's Conference
I went to my first ever Writer's Conference today. I wasn't sure what to expect, but I had fun. It was interesting, informative and forced me to step outside my comfort zone and actually speak to strange people. I swear, the entire time I was there, I thought I was going to vomit; I was so nervous. I was kind of frustrated though, because the speakers that were there mostly talked about non-fiction and memoir writing and publishing. I would rather pull my toenails out with rusty pliers than relive my childhood for a memoir and the thought of writing non fiction causes my brain to become catatonic, so...
What I found interesting was that agents and publishers in today's market want you to have a following, a pre-estabilished fan base to show that you are marketable. I get that from their perspective, but here's the clincher: I met with an agent today and talked about getting represented and traditionally published. She told me that her firm, along with most agencies, will NOT pick up previously published books.
How do you build a fan base and followers if they can't read what you have to write?
I feel like I'm stuck in a cyclic cycle of frustration that will never end. I want to self-publish because I love it and my books get out faster, but I'd love to see the books on shelves and have my books marketed by professionals. I can't get with the professionals unless I've established a large fan base, but there's no point in my mind to go traditional publishing then because obviously I can do just fine without them. Sigh.
All-in-all the conference was informative and fun, but probably not something I'd do again unless I was supporting a friend or if there was someone there that I desperately wanted to talk to, like Kim Harrison or Kelly Armstrong. Now that would be an interesting Writer's Conference. :)
What I found interesting was that agents and publishers in today's market want you to have a following, a pre-estabilished fan base to show that you are marketable. I get that from their perspective, but here's the clincher: I met with an agent today and talked about getting represented and traditionally published. She told me that her firm, along with most agencies, will NOT pick up previously published books.
How do you build a fan base and followers if they can't read what you have to write?
I feel like I'm stuck in a cyclic cycle of frustration that will never end. I want to self-publish because I love it and my books get out faster, but I'd love to see the books on shelves and have my books marketed by professionals. I can't get with the professionals unless I've established a large fan base, but there's no point in my mind to go traditional publishing then because obviously I can do just fine without them. Sigh.
All-in-all the conference was informative and fun, but probably not something I'd do again unless I was supporting a friend or if there was someone there that I desperately wanted to talk to, like Kim Harrison or Kelly Armstrong. Now that would be an interesting Writer's Conference. :)
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
So busy!
Between working full time, writing, editing, publishing and networking with people, I have zero time to myself. My family gets really irritated with me, but I keep trying to remind them of the bigger picture. Someday, I'll only write. That will be a glorious day for me! I dream of the day when all I have on my to do list is writing and some fun stuff. I have no idea what I'll do with myself then. lol. We also had a really bad windstorm here the other day, and I've been sick as a dog since. I'm working thorough it though and starting to feel more human today.
Created is blossoming more than I could've ever imagined it would. Victoria's story holds more depth to it than even I was prepared for. This is going to be a very long book. I'm both excited and intimidated by this prospect. I'm finishing chapter 5 and still haven't gotten close to her transformation, but already so much has happened. It's exciting and challenging and everything I wanted to write in a book. I'm so excited to finish this and share it with you!
Zombie War has been poking about in my psyche for the past week, and I've been letting it percolate. The story is flowing in a different way than The Beginning did, and I've finally accepted the changes. This one is going to be more suspenseful and possibly less gory, but have no fear - the gore will be there! I'm going to work on that series this weekend and hopefully I'll gain a foothold in the plot. There's a whole lot going on in Zombie War and I'm excited to pursue it again.
All-in-all, I've been a very busy person.
Created is blossoming more than I could've ever imagined it would. Victoria's story holds more depth to it than even I was prepared for. This is going to be a very long book. I'm both excited and intimidated by this prospect. I'm finishing chapter 5 and still haven't gotten close to her transformation, but already so much has happened. It's exciting and challenging and everything I wanted to write in a book. I'm so excited to finish this and share it with you!
Zombie War has been poking about in my psyche for the past week, and I've been letting it percolate. The story is flowing in a different way than The Beginning did, and I've finally accepted the changes. This one is going to be more suspenseful and possibly less gory, but have no fear - the gore will be there! I'm going to work on that series this weekend and hopefully I'll gain a foothold in the plot. There's a whole lot going on in Zombie War and I'm excited to pursue it again.
All-in-all, I've been a very busy person.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Happy Dance
I'm sitting in my chair doing a crazy little happy dance because The Lascivious Transformation just passed the 700 download marker! I'm super excited about this!!!
Whoop dee doo, you say? Well, I say yippie!!! That's 700+ crazy people like me who like untraditional erotic writing in 2 1/2 months, with some of that time consisting of the book being off the shelves due to censorship issues and absolutely zero marketing, except for my blog, twitter and fb account. That to me is awesome! It means people are starting to read me, to get to know the type of writer I am and will start following me! It means that things are finally looking in the positive direction for my writing career.
**Big sigh of relief**
I'm devoting this weekend to reviews and at least half a day each of Zombies and Created. The zombie sequel has been nudging at my psyche this past week, and I think it's time to try to venture back into the blood and guts and gore of the zombie apocalypse. I haven't been liking what's been turning up on the pages, but I've had some fan/friends read what's there already and they love it. It's not as gory and intensely graphic as the first, at least not yet, but it's very suspenseful. I'm three chapters into it, and know without a doubt that this one will be at least twice as long as the first one, if not longer.
I've got Choice and Changed in the hands of some well-known paranormal romance fanatics, and I'm praying they like them and they get good reviews. I'll keep you posted as I go along.
The cats are really getting sick of me coming home and sitting in front of the computer or sleeping, so I think I'm going to have to go spend some mommy-kitty time with them. Hopefully soon, I won't have to leave to go to work, and they can just deal with me at the computer for a few hours a day while I spend more time with them. That's my dream.
Whoop dee doo, you say? Well, I say yippie!!! That's 700+ crazy people like me who like untraditional erotic writing in 2 1/2 months, with some of that time consisting of the book being off the shelves due to censorship issues and absolutely zero marketing, except for my blog, twitter and fb account. That to me is awesome! It means people are starting to read me, to get to know the type of writer I am and will start following me! It means that things are finally looking in the positive direction for my writing career.
**Big sigh of relief**
I'm devoting this weekend to reviews and at least half a day each of Zombies and Created. The zombie sequel has been nudging at my psyche this past week, and I think it's time to try to venture back into the blood and guts and gore of the zombie apocalypse. I haven't been liking what's been turning up on the pages, but I've had some fan/friends read what's there already and they love it. It's not as gory and intensely graphic as the first, at least not yet, but it's very suspenseful. I'm three chapters into it, and know without a doubt that this one will be at least twice as long as the first one, if not longer.
I've got Choice and Changed in the hands of some well-known paranormal romance fanatics, and I'm praying they like them and they get good reviews. I'll keep you posted as I go along.
The cats are really getting sick of me coming home and sitting in front of the computer or sleeping, so I think I'm going to have to go spend some mommy-kitty time with them. Hopefully soon, I won't have to leave to go to work, and they can just deal with me at the computer for a few hours a day while I spend more time with them. That's my dream.
Friday, March 23, 2012
Created
I've been working on Victoria's story- Created. So far I absolutely love it. Her story is complex, deeply dark and fun to write. It starts out with her in the here and now and quickly goes to three years before her transformation (1610). It's fun because I'm learning so much about Incan and Spanish history as well as adding my own twist to how the insane Atlantean warrior will affect the culture of her small village life. It's historical romance with a supernatural twist. It's been hard to keep my head in the different culture as well as trying to show Mneseus' insanity from Victoria's perspective.
The more I write in this series, the harder it is to keep everything in order. I've always hated it as a reader to read the third or fifth novel and notice a huge issue with the time flow. I've worked really hard on my series to keep the timeline and character's abilities in sync. I definitely have more respect and understanding for the authors that I used to get annoyed with. This is difficult! :)
It's so much fun to get into Victoria's head though. She's such a complicated and deep character, a trait that I don't think anyone's noticed yet. She's always been comfortable hiding in the shadows and staying away from the lime light, so I'm really excited that she wants her story told.
I have the outline for it in my head and I'll be surprised if it's under 300 pages. This will be my longest book to date. I'm nervous about that, but really happy. So far I have the Prolog and the first two and a half chapters written, as well as a partial chapter that's a bit further into the storyline. It's really exciting to watch this story progress. Mneseus seems like a normal, battle-hardened warrior, but in reality he's one of the most unstable characters I've ever seen. He should've been killed decades ago, but Stephan is tired of destroying his old friends and Mneseus is retaliating by collecting Victoria. She reminds him of his dead wife and he wants to recreate in her what he lost during Atlantis' sinking. Victoria is thrust into a culture she doesn't understand and has to learn things from an insane shape-shifter. I can't wait to finish this and share it with you! I'm so excited about this story! I should go and type some more!
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Agented... to be, or not to be?
First of all, Happy St. Patrick's day! I actually like this holiday, as I try to wear the least amount of green to see if anyone pays attention. When I was little, if someone pinched you and you were actually wearing green, you got to punch them. I liked punching people. I still do. Perhaps I have a bit of an anger issue, who knows, who cares, I just like to see how many people pay attention to the little things. :)
Saphyra is doing her best to push the boundaries we've set while I write. She's sitting with her front paw directly on the smallest corner of my keyboard. She knows she's not supposed to sit on my hands or on the keys, so she's pushing boundaries to see if she'll get in trouble or if I'll cave and cuddle with her. Usually we compromise and I have a nice kitty couch set up on the chair next to me. They sleep there while I'm on the computer and occasionally I reach over and pet them. The corner of the couch rests against my leg, so they feel like we're cuddling. It works, unless they're in a boundary pushing mood. I love cats.
I've been tossing around the idea about becoming agented and trying the traditional publishing route. I enjoy doing it all myself. Knowing that I did the formatting, writing, cover-art, and really everything for the books, makes me really happy. It's a sense of accomplishment that I'm not sure I'd feel with an agent and publisher. On the other hand, if I had an actual publisher, I'd see my books in the stores. That'd be amazing.
So, last month something happened at work to make me wonder how long I'm actually going to stay employed. I freaked out and decided that I now have no choice but to try traditional publishing and pray that I get a decent sign on bonus. I wrote my query letter (Which was no small feat, let me tell you- holy cow!) and sent it out to three different agents. I'm also going to a writer's conference in April where I'll get to meet 1:1 with an agent an hope she signs me. I was stressed out, nervous, and scared to death. I'm not sure what scared me more, getting accepted or being denied.
I got my second denial yesterday and cried. The denials are actually very nice, for rejections, but it hurt to know that they didn't like me for whatever reason. It's also hard to face the reality that I'm stuck at my job for an unknown period of time.
I talked to Bry about it yesterday, and he said something to me that I thought was really profound. He said,"Why are you even trying to get an agent? You liked writing before, now you're miserable and stressed out. You're hobby should be fun, not make you feel like this." It struck a few cords in me, one of which we discussed and he apologized for- writing for me is MUCH more than a hobby. He had a point though. I love writing. I love the entire process. It's challenging, and I learn something new every day. I can see how much I've grown. It's awesome. My friend Audrey had this to say, "What?! I don't understand, all they have to do is read what you've written, and they'll love you!" That statement made my day. :)
So for now, I've decided to rethink a few things. I'm going to continue to write and continue publishing on my own. I like it, it makes me happy. If for some reason, I get approached by an agent or an editor, I'll figure things out then. I'm still going to the conference in April, I'm actually very excited to see what they have to say about writing. I'm not going to stress about it anymore, I love writing, and that's all that matters.
Saphyra is doing her best to push the boundaries we've set while I write. She's sitting with her front paw directly on the smallest corner of my keyboard. She knows she's not supposed to sit on my hands or on the keys, so she's pushing boundaries to see if she'll get in trouble or if I'll cave and cuddle with her. Usually we compromise and I have a nice kitty couch set up on the chair next to me. They sleep there while I'm on the computer and occasionally I reach over and pet them. The corner of the couch rests against my leg, so they feel like we're cuddling. It works, unless they're in a boundary pushing mood. I love cats.
I've been tossing around the idea about becoming agented and trying the traditional publishing route. I enjoy doing it all myself. Knowing that I did the formatting, writing, cover-art, and really everything for the books, makes me really happy. It's a sense of accomplishment that I'm not sure I'd feel with an agent and publisher. On the other hand, if I had an actual publisher, I'd see my books in the stores. That'd be amazing.
So, last month something happened at work to make me wonder how long I'm actually going to stay employed. I freaked out and decided that I now have no choice but to try traditional publishing and pray that I get a decent sign on bonus. I wrote my query letter (Which was no small feat, let me tell you- holy cow!) and sent it out to three different agents. I'm also going to a writer's conference in April where I'll get to meet 1:1 with an agent an hope she signs me. I was stressed out, nervous, and scared to death. I'm not sure what scared me more, getting accepted or being denied.
I got my second denial yesterday and cried. The denials are actually very nice, for rejections, but it hurt to know that they didn't like me for whatever reason. It's also hard to face the reality that I'm stuck at my job for an unknown period of time.
I talked to Bry about it yesterday, and he said something to me that I thought was really profound. He said,"Why are you even trying to get an agent? You liked writing before, now you're miserable and stressed out. You're hobby should be fun, not make you feel like this." It struck a few cords in me, one of which we discussed and he apologized for- writing for me is MUCH more than a hobby. He had a point though. I love writing. I love the entire process. It's challenging, and I learn something new every day. I can see how much I've grown. It's awesome. My friend Audrey had this to say, "What?! I don't understand, all they have to do is read what you've written, and they'll love you!" That statement made my day. :)
So for now, I've decided to rethink a few things. I'm going to continue to write and continue publishing on my own. I like it, it makes me happy. If for some reason, I get approached by an agent or an editor, I'll figure things out then. I'm still going to the conference in April, I'm actually very excited to see what they have to say about writing. I'm not going to stress about it anymore, I love writing, and that's all that matters.
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Conclusion of Read an eBook Week
Thank-you so much for your support this week during Read an eBook week at Smashwords!!! Through your shares and support I was able to give over 200 books away!! YEA!! That's 200 more people who are getting to know me as a writer. I'm so excited and encouraged for the opportunities of this year! Hopefully it continues to be AMAZING!!! My fans absolutely ROCK and I love every one of you! Happy reading!!
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Read an eBook Week
Smashwords has a promotion this week where you can get eBooks at a discounted rate. They do this to promote eBooks and support Indie Authors like me. I'm participating and right now you can download all four of my books for FREE!!!
You read correctly-FREE!!!
Furthermore, we haven't gotten the final word on PayPal's censoring so Lascivious Transformation is still available. Grab it while you still can!
Click on the link http://bit.ly/xccB34 and use the coupon code RE100 at checkout to get your collection for FREE!!!!
Once you purchase from Smashwords, the eBook is available for download on ALL eReader devices that you may own. Awesome, right?
Thanks for your support!
You read correctly-FREE!!!
Furthermore, we haven't gotten the final word on PayPal's censoring so Lascivious Transformation is still available. Grab it while you still can!
Click on the link http://bit.ly/xccB34 and use the coupon code RE100 at checkout to get your collection for FREE!!!!
Once you purchase from Smashwords, the eBook is available for download on ALL eReader devices that you may own. Awesome, right?
Thanks for your support!
Friday, March 2, 2012
ramblings
I've decided to put Zombie Wars on the shelf right now. I just can't get into it at the moment. Sorry to those who were patiently waiting for the sequel. I want to put out a book I actually like, and so far... ugh.
I've been working on Victoria's story, Created. It seems to call to me more than any other book I've been working on, and is flowing very nicely. I'm very excited for her story, more so than I thought I'd be. I wasn't even planning on writing her story, but apparently she wants it told. I love writing.
The dilemma I'm facing right now is how to write her story. I started it in third person, but am not sure if I want it to go that way. The other two and a half books in this series are told in first person, and the two main books are both from Natasha's point of view. I thought that because I was writing from another character's point of view I should write in a different viewpoint, but now I'm thinking I should continue the same viewpoint for the entire series. hmm....
Personally I prefer writing in first person. I get more attuned to the main character's personality and how everything else meshes with their storyline then when I'm writing third person. I like third person because it's easier for me to express the emotions and thoughts of all the characters instead of just how my main character perceives them. It's just harder for me to become emotionally connected to my characters in third person.
A couple of my other works are written in first person, but the speaker changes throughout the book. I have one book that I'm excited to work on, but haven't had the time and energy I need to go to the dark places it's going to take me to to write it. That one has letters meshed in with a storyline. It's proven to be a challenge to intermix the two, but I know that when I have the time to go into the dark, twisted world of a serial killer, I'll be able to mesh it well.
For some reason, this year I've been having a difficult time staying focused. I'm excited about April and the possibilities it holds. I've been extremely stressed out at work lately and too exhausted to focus on anything of substance by the time I get home. I need to get my butt in gear and focus on one project; make a commitment and stay with it through thick or thin.
I'll let you know how that works out. :)
I've been working on Victoria's story, Created. It seems to call to me more than any other book I've been working on, and is flowing very nicely. I'm very excited for her story, more so than I thought I'd be. I wasn't even planning on writing her story, but apparently she wants it told. I love writing.
The dilemma I'm facing right now is how to write her story. I started it in third person, but am not sure if I want it to go that way. The other two and a half books in this series are told in first person, and the two main books are both from Natasha's point of view. I thought that because I was writing from another character's point of view I should write in a different viewpoint, but now I'm thinking I should continue the same viewpoint for the entire series. hmm....
Personally I prefer writing in first person. I get more attuned to the main character's personality and how everything else meshes with their storyline then when I'm writing third person. I like third person because it's easier for me to express the emotions and thoughts of all the characters instead of just how my main character perceives them. It's just harder for me to become emotionally connected to my characters in third person.
A couple of my other works are written in first person, but the speaker changes throughout the book. I have one book that I'm excited to work on, but haven't had the time and energy I need to go to the dark places it's going to take me to to write it. That one has letters meshed in with a storyline. It's proven to be a challenge to intermix the two, but I know that when I have the time to go into the dark, twisted world of a serial killer, I'll be able to mesh it well.
For some reason, this year I've been having a difficult time staying focused. I'm excited about April and the possibilities it holds. I've been extremely stressed out at work lately and too exhausted to focus on anything of substance by the time I get home. I need to get my butt in gear and focus on one project; make a commitment and stay with it through thick or thin.
I'll let you know how that works out. :)
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Censored
As of this weekend, PayPal is demanding that erotica eBooks be censored for those who could be offended by certain content. While I understand their side of things, the first amendment grants us freedom of speech, and if you don't want to read or listen to what other's have to say, don't - you have that right.
That being said, The Lascivious Transformation falls into one of their categories demanding censorship. As of Monday, February 26, it will no longer be available.
That being said, The Lascivious Transformation falls into one of their categories demanding censorship. As of Monday, February 26, it will no longer be available.
The kiss
I dreamed of you last night.
We were talking about unimportant things in low voices. I leaned in closer to you, inhaling your unique scent under the light taint of cigarette smoke. We've played this game many times, neither of us crossing the line from temptation into the forbidden. Today, with our voices pitched low so no one could hear us in the crowded room, the sexual tension was thicker than it had ever been. You reach out to hold me close, your large hand casually pulling me tightly into your body. I tremble, blushing with the emotions you bring out in me. Never before had I been able to talk to someone who made me feel this way, let alone flirt with them. You flirt back with me, opening me gently to new experiences. I lean even closer to you, our noses touching side-by-side.
I think we stopped talking, both barely able to breathe past our desire. Your brown eyes stare deeply into mine, and I know we're going to cross that unspoken line. Excitement and terror thrill through my veins with the knowledge that you want this as badly as I do. Gently and ever so hesitantly, you brush your lips against mine. I shudder, my eyes fluttering closed in reflex. I move my lips against yours, finally feeling the softness I'd so often thought about.
We tease each other, barely making contact with one another's lips. Our breath mingles. We're both struggling to maintain some sense of composure, not willing to take this forbidden kiss too far least we explode with the passion burning in our veins.
I grab onto your shoulder and you hold me even tighter against you, knowing without our grasp on one another's bodies we'd collapse in a passionate embrace on the floor surrounded by all those people.
Without thought, I add pressure to the kiss. Our lips finally meet, solid and unyielding against the other's. You groan slightly in the back of your throat. I gently lick my lips in a vain attempt to quench my desire. Our tongues touch, hesitantly, both unsure if we should be doing this. It felt so good, so right, we couldn't stop.
I open to you, start the dance that'd lead us into the passionate fires of hell, and not caring as your tongue tangos with mine. Our breath is labored, we're both panting and helplessly moaning. We slow the kiss down, withdraw our battling tongues and linger with lips pressed against lips. I breathe in your exhalation, and you take mine. We share more than just a simple kiss in that moment. For a brief second, I can feel you in me as I'd never felt another.
My eyes flutter open wide in amazement and I'm awake, the dream still lingering on my dry lips.
We were talking about unimportant things in low voices. I leaned in closer to you, inhaling your unique scent under the light taint of cigarette smoke. We've played this game many times, neither of us crossing the line from temptation into the forbidden. Today, with our voices pitched low so no one could hear us in the crowded room, the sexual tension was thicker than it had ever been. You reach out to hold me close, your large hand casually pulling me tightly into your body. I tremble, blushing with the emotions you bring out in me. Never before had I been able to talk to someone who made me feel this way, let alone flirt with them. You flirt back with me, opening me gently to new experiences. I lean even closer to you, our noses touching side-by-side.
I think we stopped talking, both barely able to breathe past our desire. Your brown eyes stare deeply into mine, and I know we're going to cross that unspoken line. Excitement and terror thrill through my veins with the knowledge that you want this as badly as I do. Gently and ever so hesitantly, you brush your lips against mine. I shudder, my eyes fluttering closed in reflex. I move my lips against yours, finally feeling the softness I'd so often thought about.
We tease each other, barely making contact with one another's lips. Our breath mingles. We're both struggling to maintain some sense of composure, not willing to take this forbidden kiss too far least we explode with the passion burning in our veins.
I grab onto your shoulder and you hold me even tighter against you, knowing without our grasp on one another's bodies we'd collapse in a passionate embrace on the floor surrounded by all those people.
Without thought, I add pressure to the kiss. Our lips finally meet, solid and unyielding against the other's. You groan slightly in the back of your throat. I gently lick my lips in a vain attempt to quench my desire. Our tongues touch, hesitantly, both unsure if we should be doing this. It felt so good, so right, we couldn't stop.
I open to you, start the dance that'd lead us into the passionate fires of hell, and not caring as your tongue tangos with mine. Our breath is labored, we're both panting and helplessly moaning. We slow the kiss down, withdraw our battling tongues and linger with lips pressed against lips. I breathe in your exhalation, and you take mine. We share more than just a simple kiss in that moment. For a brief second, I can feel you in me as I'd never felt another.
My eyes flutter open wide in amazement and I'm awake, the dream still lingering on my dry lips.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
strange weekend
For those of you who don't know, my weekend is Thursday and Friday. I work nights in a mental hospital, so my weekends are less than traditional. Thursday, Bry and I ripped up some carpet - backstory: In July, Bry accidentally left the bags of litter on the floor overnight. The cats ripped them open and decided they needed a new litter box. I've desperately tried to eliminate the odor by cleaning and cleaning and cleaning the carpets, to no avail. Last month we went to Lowe's and were pricing new flooring. The guy there suggested that until we were ready to re-floor the area that we wanted to, we should pull the carpet up in that area, re-pad it, and paint the floorboards with Killz. We did that. It didn't work. Anyone that knows me, or has been to my house, will tell you that even though I have 8 cats, you'd never know it from the smell. I absolutely HATE animal smell. My house is pristine and always smells nice. Until now. It's been driving me crazy. So, Thursday, we pulled up that section of carpet, cut it out, bleached the floor, Killzed it again, and left it bare. It doesn't look bad, and the cat's haven't peed there since. Better yet, the smell is gone! I'm a happy girl.
After we finished tearing our living room apart, we went on a much needed motorcycle ride. It was about sixty degrees here (in February!) and a beautiful day to ride. I always get nervous on my first ride after not riding for a while, but Thursday was absolutely beautiful. We didn't go on a long ride, but we meandered through the farmland and trees by our house. It reminded me of why I love living out here so much. I hate the city, but where we live, it's absolutely wonderful. It's quiet, laid back, and you can see the stars at night.
The rest of the day was spent tackling my nemesis- the taxes. By the time I went to bed I was annoyed, stressed out, and had a massive headache. I don't understand taxes. I've always considered myself a fairly intelligent person, but for some reason, I just don't get taxes. They don't make any logical sense to me and I can't grasp their rules and regulations. Add to it that I started writing this year and have business expenses and profits and I'm completely lost. I still try though...
Friday morning I woke up to a nightmare, and the start of an asthma attack. I was dreaming that I was murdered and my spirit was helping my sister find my killer. She didn't know I was dead, she thought it was only our parents that were killed, but in actuality our mother was helping the killer kill our father. She too didn't know I was dead. It was very disturbing to dream about one's death. I woke distressed, sad, and not feeling well physically or spiritually. My dreams are graphic, intense, and very real. There are days when I have to ask people around me if certain situations happened.
Like an idiot, I decided to finish the taxes. Not a smart thing to do when I was already weary of soul. I e-mailed my mom after, asking her to do them for me because I totally screwed them up. I couldn't get out of my funk all day. I was stuck in a downward spiral of depression that I didn't want to go to. I couldn't let go of the strange feelings the dream left me with, or the frustrations of my horrible week at work and the combined stress of the stupid taxes. Friday was not a good day. Thankfully Bry was gone all day with school, and was able to avoid me in my funk. I went to bed early, hoping to wake the next day with a better attitude.
Saturday was "Inspirational Movie Day" in our house. I woke at the butt crack of dawn and watched Julie & Julia, and Eat, Pray, Love before Bry woke up and hung out with me for the rest of the early afternoon. I took a nap and went to work last night. I feel so much better now. Things that seemed bleak have returned to having the glow of hope.
After we finished tearing our living room apart, we went on a much needed motorcycle ride. It was about sixty degrees here (in February!) and a beautiful day to ride. I always get nervous on my first ride after not riding for a while, but Thursday was absolutely beautiful. We didn't go on a long ride, but we meandered through the farmland and trees by our house. It reminded me of why I love living out here so much. I hate the city, but where we live, it's absolutely wonderful. It's quiet, laid back, and you can see the stars at night.
The rest of the day was spent tackling my nemesis- the taxes. By the time I went to bed I was annoyed, stressed out, and had a massive headache. I don't understand taxes. I've always considered myself a fairly intelligent person, but for some reason, I just don't get taxes. They don't make any logical sense to me and I can't grasp their rules and regulations. Add to it that I started writing this year and have business expenses and profits and I'm completely lost. I still try though...
Friday morning I woke up to a nightmare, and the start of an asthma attack. I was dreaming that I was murdered and my spirit was helping my sister find my killer. She didn't know I was dead, she thought it was only our parents that were killed, but in actuality our mother was helping the killer kill our father. She too didn't know I was dead. It was very disturbing to dream about one's death. I woke distressed, sad, and not feeling well physically or spiritually. My dreams are graphic, intense, and very real. There are days when I have to ask people around me if certain situations happened.
Like an idiot, I decided to finish the taxes. Not a smart thing to do when I was already weary of soul. I e-mailed my mom after, asking her to do them for me because I totally screwed them up. I couldn't get out of my funk all day. I was stuck in a downward spiral of depression that I didn't want to go to. I couldn't let go of the strange feelings the dream left me with, or the frustrations of my horrible week at work and the combined stress of the stupid taxes. Friday was not a good day. Thankfully Bry was gone all day with school, and was able to avoid me in my funk. I went to bed early, hoping to wake the next day with a better attitude.
Saturday was "Inspirational Movie Day" in our house. I woke at the butt crack of dawn and watched Julie & Julia, and Eat, Pray, Love before Bry woke up and hung out with me for the rest of the early afternoon. I took a nap and went to work last night. I feel so much better now. Things that seemed bleak have returned to having the glow of hope.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Writer's Conference
I just signed up for a writer's conference in April where I'll get to meet with my first agent and I'm scared to death. I know it's not the end of the world if I don't get picked up, and even famous authors have been turned down a few times. This is what I want to do with my life, and I know I can succeed, I just need the chance. I'm hopeful for positive changes in my life, starting with this conference. I need some positivity right now. I'll let you know more as soon as I do. I need to figure out how to write a query letter and sell myself. It's something I'm not very good at, but have been learning ever since I started writing. Hopefully it'll work out and I'll have amazing news in a few months. Keep your fingers crossed!
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Zombie Updates
I've finally been able to get past my block! YEA!! Thank you for listening to me vent a little bit. I really needed to get that off my chest for a minute. :)
Zombie War: Little Apocalypse on the Prairie is starting to flow nicely. If things keep going the way they are, I should have no problems with getting it out by May 1 - the start of National Zombie Awareness Month! That's my goal, and so far things are flowing nicely. I'll keep you posted as much as I can. In the
meantime, here's a small blurb giving a brief description of the zombies. enjoy. :)
"Once you looked past the clothing that tried to hide the fact that their skin was decaying, that their teeth were rotting out, and their eyes had the glassy look of a week-old corpse, you knew they were anything but normal."
Zombie War: Little Apocalypse on the Prairie is starting to flow nicely. If things keep going the way they are, I should have no problems with getting it out by May 1 - the start of National Zombie Awareness Month! That's my goal, and so far things are flowing nicely. I'll keep you posted as much as I can. In the
meantime, here's a small blurb giving a brief description of the zombies. enjoy. :)
"Once you looked past the clothing that tried to hide the fact that their skin was decaying, that their teeth were rotting out, and their eyes had the glassy look of a week-old corpse, you knew they were anything but normal."
Friday, January 27, 2012
Painful Words
A few weeks ago I was browsing the sites that have my books for sale. I don't typically make it a habit to obsess over how many purchases or reviews I get in a day, I try very hard to only look once a month. If I didn't give myself restrictions, I'd go crazy. After the first few months of having the books for sale, I gave up on looking for reviews. It seemed that people don't like to leave comments about books. It's frustrating. Imagine my surprise and excitement a few weeks ago when I finally noticed a new review on Zombies! I did a little happy dance in my chair before reading it.
I cried when I finished.
It took me almost two days to not be hurt by this guys words. I understand in my head that bad reviews are a part of this field. I expect to get them. I'm even glad to get them. I realize that not only did this person read my book, but he was so moved by it, he felt he had to post something. Of course, I'd much rather it be something positive, but I'm not so naive as to think that will always happen.
I never really thought of the implications of negative reviews and what effect they had on a writer. I always assumed that writers expected criticism, it's a part of the process, it helps them grow, and they looked past it to the bigger picture. I've personally never been mean in a review, and always try to find the positive in a book I may not like, but will also tell people why I didn't like it.
I knew I was going to get bad reviews. I was waiting for them, and waiting, and waiting. It took almost a year for me to get my first bad review. That has to mean something, right? I thought I was prepared for it, I knew it was an eventuality. I didn't expect it to hurt nearly as much as it did.
I've had so many people come up to me and ask when the sequel for this book is going to come out, hoping I'd get on it asap, and then tell me how much they loved it. I've been excited to write the sequel, plotting it out in my head with the direction I want to go, and even planning to end with a third short story. I have the whole trilogy mapped out and waiting to be put onto paper. As soon as I told people I was writing the sequel I was humbled and overcome with the excited joy I saw in their eyes.
Then I read my review. It really took me by surprise with the vehemence this guy had for Zombies. Every time I sit at the computer, or place my pen to paper, all I can think about are his painful words. My characters feel like they're cowering in a corner, bruised and unwilling to share the rest of their story with me in fear of continued retribution. We (the characters and I) weren't going to continue the story. Zombies was originally only meant to be a short story, but with how much people talked about and loved it, we've decided to continue. It still amazes me how one person can wound so deeply with harsh words.
People keep telling me to let it go, to not give him the power to affect me. Honestly, I'm flattered that I affected him so strongly. I've been looking at the positive side of this review, and am truly grateful for his words. It helps me to look at my writing in a completely different perspective, and see it in a different view. I'm glad to have gotten that review. I just don't know how to get my characters and my muse back on speaking terms with me.
I cried when I finished.
It took me almost two days to not be hurt by this guys words. I understand in my head that bad reviews are a part of this field. I expect to get them. I'm even glad to get them. I realize that not only did this person read my book, but he was so moved by it, he felt he had to post something. Of course, I'd much rather it be something positive, but I'm not so naive as to think that will always happen.
I never really thought of the implications of negative reviews and what effect they had on a writer. I always assumed that writers expected criticism, it's a part of the process, it helps them grow, and they looked past it to the bigger picture. I've personally never been mean in a review, and always try to find the positive in a book I may not like, but will also tell people why I didn't like it.
I knew I was going to get bad reviews. I was waiting for them, and waiting, and waiting. It took almost a year for me to get my first bad review. That has to mean something, right? I thought I was prepared for it, I knew it was an eventuality. I didn't expect it to hurt nearly as much as it did.
I've had so many people come up to me and ask when the sequel for this book is going to come out, hoping I'd get on it asap, and then tell me how much they loved it. I've been excited to write the sequel, plotting it out in my head with the direction I want to go, and even planning to end with a third short story. I have the whole trilogy mapped out and waiting to be put onto paper. As soon as I told people I was writing the sequel I was humbled and overcome with the excited joy I saw in their eyes.
Then I read my review. It really took me by surprise with the vehemence this guy had for Zombies. Every time I sit at the computer, or place my pen to paper, all I can think about are his painful words. My characters feel like they're cowering in a corner, bruised and unwilling to share the rest of their story with me in fear of continued retribution. We (the characters and I) weren't going to continue the story. Zombies was originally only meant to be a short story, but with how much people talked about and loved it, we've decided to continue. It still amazes me how one person can wound so deeply with harsh words.
People keep telling me to let it go, to not give him the power to affect me. Honestly, I'm flattered that I affected him so strongly. I've been looking at the positive side of this review, and am truly grateful for his words. It helps me to look at my writing in a completely different perspective, and see it in a different view. I'm glad to have gotten that review. I just don't know how to get my characters and my muse back on speaking terms with me.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
today's thoughts
At one point when I was describing Zombie War to a friend, they told me that it sounds just like this show called "The Walking Dead." I was mortified. First because I was ignorant enough to not have any idea that there was a Zombie show, and second that my story mirrored this show. My friend told me about it, said it was awesome and that I should watch it. I don't watch t.v. all that often, I still only have one channel (I know, dark ages!) and I wasn't all that excited to watch a show that I was told I mimicked to a t. So here it is, almost a year later, and I'm trying to write a sequel to a book that I never intended to be a series, and I'm completely stuck. Every word I write, I hate. I can't seem to get past the first page, even though I've written almost an entire chapter. I can't envision the characters, the setting, or what's supposed to happen next. I keep thinking about other books that I want to write right now, and the Zombies keep getting pushed further and further back.
That being said, I've decided to watch "The Walking Dead." It doesn't mimic any of Zombie War, and is surprisingly a very good zombie series. I never thought I'd really enjoy an entire show of zombies, but this is a highly entertaining show. I'm half way through the first series and have only yelled at the stupidity of the characters a couple times. It is kind of predictable, but still a fun series. It is also getting me really into the zombie mood. I'm hoping that tonight I'll have very creepy, scary and grotesque zombie filled dreams.
How often do you wish to have zombie filled dreams? lol.
That being said, I've decided to watch "The Walking Dead." It doesn't mimic any of Zombie War, and is surprisingly a very good zombie series. I never thought I'd really enjoy an entire show of zombies, but this is a highly entertaining show. I'm half way through the first series and have only yelled at the stupidity of the characters a couple times. It is kind of predictable, but still a fun series. It is also getting me really into the zombie mood. I'm hoping that tonight I'll have very creepy, scary and grotesque zombie filled dreams.
How often do you wish to have zombie filled dreams? lol.
Monday, January 23, 2012
Blocked
Still can't seem to write anything decent for Zombies. I'm really getting frustrated with this sequel. I've been writing things down, but so far I hate it all. Hopefully something will start clicking and the words will start flowing. It's very frustrating.
I'm really getting fed up with the bs drama at work as well. I know that there's bs in every job, but it always seems that healthcare has it in spades. I try to be nice and friendly with other people, but I've decided that some people are just bitches. There's one girl at work who doesn't like me simply because I'm friends with someone else and goes out of her way to make my life a living hell. I'm just really sick of it. I'd give almost anything to be out of this field and into a male dominated field where they at least don't do sneaky, underhanded manipulations to ruin your life. They are up front and honest about it. Some days I wish my books were real and I was one of my characters.
I'm really getting fed up with the bs drama at work as well. I know that there's bs in every job, but it always seems that healthcare has it in spades. I try to be nice and friendly with other people, but I've decided that some people are just bitches. There's one girl at work who doesn't like me simply because I'm friends with someone else and goes out of her way to make my life a living hell. I'm just really sick of it. I'd give almost anything to be out of this field and into a male dominated field where they at least don't do sneaky, underhanded manipulations to ruin your life. They are up front and honest about it. Some days I wish my books were real and I was one of my characters.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
New things
I wasn't planning on it, but I ended up publishing a very short erotic novella called The Lascivious Transformation. I was hoping to simply have it available for free on every site I publish, but could only make it free on Smashwords. (I've finally gotten over my frustration at this site and things are working wonderfully. YEA!) When they are finished with their formatting conversions, it should be free wherever eBooks are sold, but right now it's only free through them. At the other sites it's $0.99.
The Lascivious Transformation isn't necessarily part of the Origins series, but does fit nicely between Choice and Changed. Although you don't have to read the other two to understand what happens in LT, it's a fun series and I think LT helps to really add to the intensity of a particular scene in Changed.
Changed has gotten some very positive feedback from readers, and I am so excited where this series is headed. I've already started on the next book- Created. It follows Victoria on her life, and has been blowing up for me. So far, the beginning is so sappy and happy, I want to shoot her just for being so perfect. As I know it won't stay that way, I've been holding on. I hope that when I do the edits I'll find a way to make it less nauseatingly sappy and more entertaining. So far I've just been writing what she tells me to. Victoria is a very quiet nag in my head. She wants her story told, but has been content to let me simmer on the broader spectrum of where we're going to go.
I've also been trying to write the sequel to Zombie Wars. I'm not sure why, but I've been having a heck of a lot of difficulty writing this sequel. My heart's not into it, and I can't figure out why. I have a demand for a sequel, but no desire. I'm going to delve into the world of Zombies hard this week and try to pull myself back into Sarah's life. Hopefully it will turn out as good, or better than the first.
Some of you may notice the changes to my blog, I've been working on trying to make things less cluttered and easier to navigate. I hope you enjoy.
I know I don't post on here as often as I want to. Believe me, I'm working on it. Between the 12 books I have started, work, and simply living life, Blogging has proven to be a challenge for me. I've decided that this year, I'm going to make all my marketing a priority. I'm typically a very private person, who is shy and likes to observe people, and have been working on breaking out of my shell and opening up to you, my fans. Thanks so much for your love and support!
The Lascivious Transformation isn't necessarily part of the Origins series, but does fit nicely between Choice and Changed. Although you don't have to read the other two to understand what happens in LT, it's a fun series and I think LT helps to really add to the intensity of a particular scene in Changed.
Changed has gotten some very positive feedback from readers, and I am so excited where this series is headed. I've already started on the next book- Created. It follows Victoria on her life, and has been blowing up for me. So far, the beginning is so sappy and happy, I want to shoot her just for being so perfect. As I know it won't stay that way, I've been holding on. I hope that when I do the edits I'll find a way to make it less nauseatingly sappy and more entertaining. So far I've just been writing what she tells me to. Victoria is a very quiet nag in my head. She wants her story told, but has been content to let me simmer on the broader spectrum of where we're going to go.
I've also been trying to write the sequel to Zombie Wars. I'm not sure why, but I've been having a heck of a lot of difficulty writing this sequel. My heart's not into it, and I can't figure out why. I have a demand for a sequel, but no desire. I'm going to delve into the world of Zombies hard this week and try to pull myself back into Sarah's life. Hopefully it will turn out as good, or better than the first.
Some of you may notice the changes to my blog, I've been working on trying to make things less cluttered and easier to navigate. I hope you enjoy.
I know I don't post on here as often as I want to. Believe me, I'm working on it. Between the 12 books I have started, work, and simply living life, Blogging has proven to be a challenge for me. I've decided that this year, I'm going to make all my marketing a priority. I'm typically a very private person, who is shy and likes to observe people, and have been working on breaking out of my shell and opening up to you, my fans. Thanks so much for your love and support!
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
so annoyed
It's probably just me, but I'm seriously getting annoyed with Smashwords. It's one of the places I publish my books, and I like the quality of eBooks they put out and their strict guidelines, but I've been trying to fix the autovetter errors on two of my books for a while now and can't figure it out. I've reformatted, eliminated my table of contents, and have been trying to resubmit the changes for three days. All I get is this stupid loading icon. So annoying. Also, I wish they'd update the style guide to include macs. Microsoft Word is so much different with a mac that when I follow the guide I get all screwed up.
I'm tired today and whining. Sorry. I couldn't get to sleep today and then my husband worked late so it freaked me out when he wasn't home 2 hours after he normally gets here. I haven't had more than 4 hours of sleep and now have to go work with psych patients. He also came home and informed me that he may be getting a temporary lay off in the next week or so, unless things pick up drastically at work. I'm stressed out and wishing things would start getting better.
Top it off with my oldest cat scratching one of my friend's faces this morning and making her bleed, and I'm seriously annoyed with life today. Things have been going so well, I guess it's past time to have a bad day. After all, bad days help build character, right?
I'm tired today and whining. Sorry. I couldn't get to sleep today and then my husband worked late so it freaked me out when he wasn't home 2 hours after he normally gets here. I haven't had more than 4 hours of sleep and now have to go work with psych patients. He also came home and informed me that he may be getting a temporary lay off in the next week or so, unless things pick up drastically at work. I'm stressed out and wishing things would start getting better.
Top it off with my oldest cat scratching one of my friend's faces this morning and making her bleed, and I'm seriously annoyed with life today. Things have been going so well, I guess it's past time to have a bad day. After all, bad days help build character, right?
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