I don't know what it is about the last chapter of my books that makes me panic. I almost always write the last chapter sometime in the middle of the books, so it's not the actual last chapter of the book, but the last chapter I need to write for the book to be done that freaks me out. I sit and think about every negative aspect I can think about, wonder if I should scrap the whole thing as garbage, or just give up on writing all together.
To those of you who get to deal with my insanity on a daily basis, man, I feel for you! lol. For those of you who get the updates when my mind hasn't been fried from working and writing so much, count yourselves lucky. For the past two weeks, I've been trying to get through the last two and a half chapters of Created. I've been panicking and writing and hanging my head as I read through everything I've already written. I've gone from loving my work to feeling like it's all bullshit and should be burned. I've wept and screamed and laughed and cried some more. I've argued with people over the dumbest things and felt bad while I was doing so. I don't know what it is about the end of the books that make me feel like this.
The good news is, it's finished. Finally! My parent's are visiting next week for the weekend and my house is trashed. I've done absolutely nothing this past week besides work, sleep and write. I needed to get this done, to get past the stress of the end. I know once I start the edits, I'll be back to my normal psychotic self, but until then, ick.
I'm doing something a little different with this one, something I haven't really done with the others. I'm having beta readers. "What's that?" You ask. Good question. It took me forever to figure that out.
Apparently beta readers are people who read your work before it's published and give you feedback on it. They're kinda like editors, but not really. That is at least what I've figured out. I did my first beta reading last month, and am hoping to gain some good feedback this month for my book. This will be the first time I ever really have a delay between finishing a book and publishing it. It's very strange to me to be doing this, but I'd like to see if it helps the books sound any better.
I know what I want them to be, what they sound like in my head. I'm so close to the characters though, that it's hard to know if I put everything that's in my head down on paper. I don't always type as fast as I think and I don't always have access to a computer, paper or recorder when I come up with things that help develop the characters. Here's to hoping beta readers help me find any gaps. :)
Sorry I've been off here for so long, I've been working my butt off trying to get this book done so I can work on Consumed to get them both out in October. Not sure if that's going to happen, but I'll at least have Created out then!