Saturday, May 12, 2012

Emotionally charged day

Today my youngest sister gets married, my good friend has her going away party, my niece turns one and my brother comes to visit, making sure he doesn't take time off of work to do so. I remember when my little sister, Becca, was 2 and would call the Nutcracker the Quckernucket. Now she's getting married and starting her life with her own family. I remember changing my brother's diapers. Now he's got a career and a life of his own to juggle like the rest of us.
I was in Baltimore last year visiting my BFF for the first time in 7 years and meeting my three new nieces. I miss them all terribly. My friend is moving there and a big part of me wants to go with her, to be cocooned in the love of the family I chose. I miss so many people so much. It breaks my heart a little every day knowing I can't be there to love and support them like I want to.
I feel old. I don't know where the time went. It always seems that you'll have more time to watch as people grow up, more time to catch up later, more time to get used to the idea that they're growing up - just as you did.
Truth is, there isn't more time. You only have what's there in front of you. Once it's gone, it's gone.