Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Major Depression

I was driving out to see a friend on Monday, after working a 12-hour shift at the hospital and I was thinking of posting a blog regarding major depression. I had it all worked out in my head, I just had to get home to type it up onto my computer. However, when I finally got home and turned on my computer, I found out about Robin Williams and this post just seemed cliché. That being said, I can't get this out of my head, so you get the post anyway. Just keep in mind, I'm not doing this because of the recent celebrity suicide.
They say one in four people suffer from major depression at one point in their lives. What a lot of people don't realize is that some people may have feelings of depression for a period of time, while others deal with it their entire lives. I'm in the latter group. I don't suffer from major depression, I live with it. There are days when things are okay, that I can cope and manage things, and even manage to be genuinely happy.
Then there are the dark days, the days where it's an accomplishment to even get out of bed. These are usually the days I try not talking to anyone, because I don't even want to be around myself. So, of course, these are also the days when I either have to work or everyone and their brother wants to talk to me. Murphy's Law.
I was very suicidal as a child. When I was eleven, one of my great-uncles died, and it devastated my younger brother. Watching him mourn the death of someone we both admired and loved opened my eyes to the selfish behavior of suicide. While I still thought that people would get over it in a matter of days, I couldn't put my brother through even that small amount of grief. It wasn't fair to him.
So I pushed myself to find things that made life worth living. I challenged myself to succeed, to be positive, to find peace and grab it with everything I could. I surround myself with positive people; collecting positive sayings and quotes like they're air and I'm suffocating. Most days, it's good. Most days, I can find a way to see the good in people, situations, and things.
Other days, well, that's what writing is for.
I guess what I really want you to know is that you're not alone. If or when you feel that no one understands you, that you're all alone in the world, or that people would be better off without you, know that I'm here. There are others too, who feel your pain. While we may not experience the same triggers, there are others out there who understand and can empathize with what you are feeling. And even though you may not believe it, or feel the truth of these words, please remember, you're special to someone. You may not know it, and they may never tell you, but everyone is special to someone on this earth - because of you, they are a better person.
So go out there, live your life, smile and give someone a hug today. You never know how much they could actually need that. <3