Thursday, July 5, 2012

Frustrated

I'm so frustrated right now with so much in my life. Sometimes I feel like I should give up on my dreams and just do what everyone else wants me to do with my life. That little voice of doubt inside my head starts talking, saying things that I fear to be true and I don't know how to ignore it.
I've been writing very difficult scenes in Created this week as Zombie War #2 is finished. It's bringing me into a very dark place that I don't like to be in, yet she has to live it just as others do. It sucks. It's painful. It's life. Her story is making me need to tell mine more and more each day I write. Problem is, I don't want to relive my life. Sigh.
My old boss who's now just my nurse was reading Changed last night. She couldn't put it down and kept talking to me about it. She says that I write similarly to the person who wrote 50 Shades, that I'm very intriguing and captivating even though that's not the type of story she normally reads. I love watching people read the books. I love when people hate me for becoming so attached to the characters that they cry when bad things happen to them. I love watching the emotions cross their faces. But what I love most about it is talking to them about the book afterwords to see if they got the connections I set in place. When I can get across the pain, struggle, joy and experiences in a way that others can understand and appreciate, that makes my day.
I keep hoping and praying for the best, yet some days the little grey cloud blocks out all my sunshine.