Thursday, November 19, 2015
I see this shared around social media rather often, and I wonder, how many actually do?
I was talking to a friend a few weeks ago about a situation I had at work. One of my now ex-coworkers was incredibly rude, disrespectful, and plain mean to me. It was stressing me out so much, I wondered if I'd made the right choice in switching jobs. I was nauseated, cried on my way home, stressed out, and frustrated. You see, I had done nothing to provoke this. And even if I had, that was no way to treat someone.
Finally, I'd had enough. When we were alone, I asked her, "have I done, or not done something to upset you?"
Even confronting her on this level had me so nervous I wanted to puke. But it had to be done.
"No. Everything's fine."She replied without so much as glancing in my direction - a normal behavioral trait from her.
"Well, everything is not fine, and it's extremely obvious. The way you roll your eyes when I talk, and flat out, physically turn your back on me when I join conversations, and your over-all demeanor towards me makes me feel as if I've done something to really piss you off. And as we have to work with each other, I'd like to fix this." I mentally gave myself a huge pat on the back for not attacking her, for using the stupid "I feel" statements, and for staying calm - when I really wanted to tell her what a freaking bitch she was and to grow the f* up.
"Nope. Everything is fine."
I sighed quietly, shook my head, and went back to our strained silence, working and trying to figure out my new job without asking questions I knew wouldn't be answered.
A few hours later, she turns to me. "Remember what you asked me earlier? Well, I've been thinking about it, and you haven't done or not done anything. We simply have a personality conflict that is never going to change."
Not having a clue how to respond to that I simply stated, "well, thanks for telling me."
The rest of the day I fumed. She didn't even know me! How could she hate me on sight? How can people be so rude? As the days went on, I went on vacation, she left for maternity leave, and I thought about it.
My friend that I was telling this to was horrified that I could be truthful and say that while I never wanted to be that girl's friend, and still don't, I do respect her for her honesty - no matter how difficult it was to hear. And she probably said what she said to piss me off, but at least it was some level of honest. Could you, when presented with a challenge to respect those who've hurt and pissed you off with their honesty, truly respect them for it?
Be honest now. ;)